Amazing - Stellan Update

I'm still amazed by the work of our Creator - our Healer. Stellan had an outstanding ablation and there is no SVT in sight. He does have some recovering to do, but he has left me speechless. What an amazing demonstration on the power of prayer and trusting in God.

I am so happy for Stellan and the rest of the MckFamily. Please go to their blog and get the full story on Stellan's amazing day.

Lots of love little man!!!!

Stellan - prayers needed

***I stole this picture from MckMama's blog***

- I admit it, I'm a thief, but I just have to look at this adorable face while my knees are getting bruised, my hands are cramping, my lips are moving faster than I can speak the words, and my heart is aching for this little boy.

I haven't been posting about Stellan and his latest ordeal, mainly because I didn't know what to write. My heart is heavy and my eyes are swollen. Stellan has been a part of my life since I became pregnant with my son. They are 2 months apart in age and I cannot even fathom the idea of having my son go through what Stellan is going through.

Stellan is in Boston undergoing another ablation for his heart. Well - as of right now they are still working on getting all his lines placed in order to perform the ablation. He has been very sick and his little heart had even stopped at one point and the team had to get it started again. You can follow MckMama's blog for updates, but please say a prayer for this family. Pray for strength, courage and understanding. Their faith in Him is amazing.

Hugs and Kisses sweet Stellan!

Happy Halloween

Love, Tinkerbell and Peter Pan

Wordless Wednesday

kickin back

All he needs is something to put his feet up on and a remote.

Siblings

Look at how cute these two are together. I'd say about 99% of the time they are like this.

Trever gets so excited he can hardly contain himself when he sees Brenna. He smiles and bounces until she gets close enough to tackle.

Brenna has been a wonderful Big Sister. She cares for him so much. From the start she has always wanted to help with him - feed him, talk to him, and she just loves to make him smile. It's great to hear her "baby high pitch talk" when she talks to him.

They both loves hugs.

If Trever reaches for her hair or even drools on her a little bit, she tips her head back with a big smile and says "awe...Trever". It is so adorable.

I only hope these two will become closer and closer every day and develope a wonderful relationship.

I love my sweet babies and this look is something I'll cherish forever.

{sigh} I just love being a Mom!!!

Parade

A couple weeks ago we went to the parade in town. Brenna had so much fun waving and running after all the candy that was thrown. Trever watched every single thing that went by with suck intent. They both had a lot of fun.

What the heck is this???

That would be my "I'm so tired I'll sleep anywhere" son sound asleep under Brenna's table. What is in his mouth you ask?? Why her sock of course.

Now before anyone calls DHS on us....I did not shove a sock in my son's mouth and stick him under the table. In fact, I can honestly say I wasn't even here when this happened. (again, no calls - he was under the direct supervision of a responsible adult....ok....well, at least my husband was keeping an eye on him)

So...the story of Trever. He has never been one to take a nuk. He's never been one to really suck his thumb. He IS, however, one that does like to chew/suck on his na-night (aka blanket). So what happens when you're playing so hard, crawling all around and need to take an impromptu nap?? You find your sisters sock and curl up in a comfy spot on the floor, of course.

Ahhh, the joys of parenthood. I'm just so thankful my hubby took some pictures so I could enjoy in it too.


**note, no children or socks were injured in these photos. My son is alive and well and Brenna doesn't have any holes in her socks**

Oh no....it's started.

While cleaning up the kitchen, my two darling children are playing ever so nicely by the toy box.

then I hear it....

...

...

...

"Trever (the 9mo old)...leave me alone...." - Brenna (the 3 yr old)

"Moooooom, Trever trying to hug me. I jus wanna see scooby doo an he won't moooooove"

...

...

and so it begins.

Reality

I had a dose of reality yesterday. A flat out stare you in the face, knock you on your butt, cry your eyes out, reality moment.

Let me take you back a little bit. I have been on a blogging hiatus - why? because I knew that I was not happy and I didn't want to give into all the negativity that has been surrounding me. I have been playing the pity party in my own mind and whining about silly things. I have been feeding off all the negative things and have long passed all the positive ones. I have taken peoples comments to heart and let them consume me. I've taken on other people's bad traits and made them my own. I've been holding grudges - which is something that I really despise in other people. I am not happy with my actions, my thought process, my health and particularly the ugly road that I've led myself to be on.

Boy - I sound like a mess huh? (At least I still have a little humor left)ha ha ha.

I was going to go into detail on here what exactly I have been hurt by, what I've been hanging onto and letting get to me - but then I deleted it.

In order for me to let things go, I just need to drop it. I need a clean slate.

so what was the big "Eye opener" you ask?

Yesterday I had a call to add on an exam. It was towards the end of the day and I was thinking that yet again I'd have to squeeze this patient in. I was being negative, selfish and flat out a big baby. This particular patient was new to our system, nice guy, younger than my Dad. He had some pain in his belly for a few weeks that just wouldn't go away. He finally decided he should go in and check it out. Now after doing Ultrasound for 11 years, I've become rather numb to things. Wheelchair bound patients, ones missing an arm or a leg - you just become that professional that does their job - has a nice conversation with the patient and move on. You don't take it to heart. As soon as I placed the transducer down on this mans belly my heart sank. It took everything in me not to cry as my hands began to shake. His liver was covered in Metastases = Cancer.

This isn't the first time I've seen cancer, I see it all the time, but it's the first time it hit home - HARD. I felt horrible that I even complained about getting this guy in. What kind of selfish snot would complain about doing her job when this gentleman's life is about to be ripped apart.

The entire ride home I kept thinking about him. How he is going to have to go home and tell his wife, or his kids, or his family. I thought about all the little stupid things I've been complaining about - being bored at work, finances, a dirty kitchen - you know. I thought about my family and friends. Then I stopped at a gas station before I picked up my daughter and thanked God for all that is in my life. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

You see - when you came to grasps with your own mortality, it kind of puts things in a completely different light. Why be upset over things that happened several years ago or even a week ago. Why let my life be consumed with all the negativity when it can change in an instant.

Last night Brenna wanted "few more minutes mama". I brought her back into her bed and I laid down next to her. She snuggled her head into my chest and rubbed her hand on my face. I cried the entire time.

I think we all need a "few more minutes"

Thank you Lord for sending me your message yesterday - I got it loud and clear.

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!!

riding rides

Jammin

....Hmmmmm.....

My posts will probably be few and far between for a little while. There is a lot going on with us behind the scenes here that need to get taken care of before I start posting regularly again. For now (and every so often) I'll keep posting some fun pictures to keep the mood a positive one.
ENJOY!!!!

Bored

Note - Debbie Downer is filling in for Shannon in today's post - so sorry.

Hello all (if anyone is left that still reads my blog)

It's been a long time since I rock and rol.....oops, that's the song....since I've been blogging. I don't know what my deal has been lately, but I'm just...just...bored. Yea, bored...I think that's the best way to describe it. I've lost my umph....my mo-jo....my zest (be it orange or lemon)....my passion....even a majority of my humor. I'll apologise not for all the "...." - that's just my way of thinking.

Why am I bored? I dunno.

Let's start with work. I've been doing Ultrasound for over 10 years now. I do love it, really I do, but I'm bored. I just scanned 8 patients in 3 hours ( a pretty good clip - I'm known for my speed and beautiful studies - hey, a little pat on my own back never hurt {grin}) and here I sit waiting for the rest of my 5 hours to go by with only 3 more to scan. Long day indeed, but not as bad as tomorrow. I only have 3 scheduled for the entire day. I'm bored.

The ultrasounds themselves are not that terrible, but I'm bored. I do the same exams over and over. Liver, Renal, Aorta....repeat. Occasionally I'll get a pelvic or thyroid or something else thrown in there for a real treat, but all in all, I'm bored. I miss doing vascular exams, I did a lot of those while I was in Minnesota. They have a separate vascular lab here, so I don't do any.at.all. I miss the Carotid studies, the bypass grafts, even the DVT (looking for blood clots in legs) studies on the 400 lb, very smelly, challenge-to-get-in-their-groin type patients. Yep - I'm THAT bored.

I've lost my humor and light heartiness for the ever famous "so is it a boy or a girl?" type questions. Mind you that after the 100th time I heard that come from a 60 year old MALE patient - it was plenty old. Now after 10 years of it - I've lost my ability to give a convincing chuckle and say "twins - one of each". In fact they other day, I responded too quickly to the question, and I was busted by the patient. He said " you must hear that one a lot since you answered so fast. Here I thought I was the first one to think of it". It took everything in me to not throw out a few sarcastic remarks, but I gave him a smile and said "well, maybe just once or twice" and went on my way about scanning. I'm sure we all have these type of routine quips that every person thinks they are the first possible person to think this up. Barbers - please tell me you've had more than your share of bald guys come in and say "just a little off the top". As much as it pains me to hear the same old questions/comments, I am in no way ever mean to a patient, I do casually nod and acknowledge their quick wit, sometimes let out a little laugh, but my head is saying "really?....again?"

Along the lines of repeat comments, another thing that bothers me is when I ask a patient when the last time they had anything to EAT or DRINK (when they are to be fasting for the exam), they respond with such and such time last night - good. THEN when I change the question around a little "have you had any coffee or juice this morning?" they say "well yea, I had coffee" like I was an idiot for asking. I immediately want to slap my forehead and fall backwards onto the floor, but again I nod and say "ok". So let me ask a silly little question. If you haven't had anything to EAT or DRINK since whatever time last night? How the heck are you taking your coffee these days? Hmmm? It drives me nutty. Now - let me remind you that the main purpose of my job is to see inside patients. So...I can see INSIDE you. Usually the reason I'm asking these questions is because I have already seen that you are not fasting and you in fact have a stomach FULL of fluid and other items. Yes...I can see inside you...and yes I can tell that you have NOT been fasting. Tricky little thing I am asking such sneaky questions when I already know the answer. It's just like when you've been busted by your parents for sneaking out or something - like when they are standing in your room when you enter back through the window. They LIE. Seriously, just like when you make up some excuse how you were sleep walking and were about to fall out of the window to your death when you woke up and climbed back in. They lie about eating. I ask once, they say no. I reword it then it starts to leak out. My favorite is when they'll say "oh...yea. I had a SIP of coffee" "oh wait...I also had a BITE of a banana" really? who makes a pot of coffee in the morning and only takes a sip? and on top of it who opens a banana (which turns brown in like 5 min after opening) and only takes a single bite? Am I crazy for thinking these things? If this is the case they should weigh only about 80 pound's and must fell STUFFED. After the "sip and bite" comments I get one of two results. Either the patient will get really defensive and say they were not told or it didn't say anything about it on THEIR letter (because the printer left it off of their letter on purpose to get them in trouble) OR it will lead to them listing everything they have possibly eaten in the last 24 hours. "I had 2 pancakes, a piece of toast with butter, peanut butter and jelly on it, 2/3 cup of OJ, a half of piece of bacon because my dog took the rest off my plate when I wasn't looking. Before that I got up at 2:13 in the morning for my midnight snack (which is why they were 2 hours late to their appointment...another story) I pored a cup of milk but it was old so I threw the rest out, but not after I tasted it first to make sure it really was bad. I had 4 chocolate chip cookies, 2 oreos and a fig newton...mama loves the fig newtons so I can only have them when she's asleep so I don't tempt her with the treats...she's diabetic you know......blah, blah, blah....oh, and then a tic tac just before you called me in here." By this time I'm already done with the study and completely forgot that I asked any questions to begin with. As fun as all that sounds. I'm bored.

So - besides me whining and venting a little - ok a lot. What do you think? I think I'm bored with where I'm at. I do love the actual scanning portion of my job, but it hasn't felt like a challenge for me lately. I'm sure it's because I'm not as busy as I'm used to , but it may also be the fact that even the exams that I do scan, I'm doing the same patient every 6 months or so. We have A LOT of repeat patients. There are certain things that need to be followed frequently to help with treatment and prevention (ie Hepatitis C patients get Liver Ultrasound every 6 months or so to correspond with their medications, people with AAA (Abdominal Aortic Aneurysms - a weakening in the wall that makes them bulge) need to be followed in intervals to make sure it doesn't grow - eventually needing surgery before they rupture) so not only am I doing the same type of exams, I'm seeing the same exam over and over. So...I'm bored.

I like the branch of hospitals that I work for. I don't scan any babies (which I don't want to - for various reasons) so I'm limited on other places I could go. There's the thought of moving back to Minnesota and working at my previous hospital. I'd be busier which I would like and I'd have more of a variety, but there are still a couple people that work there that I don't get along with - and were one of the reasons I left. Plus, I'd have to take call again and I really enjoy not having to go back to work when I'm just sitting down to dinner with my family.

Dilemma

I'm bored. There are other areas that I feel "bored" in, but I'll have to save that for another post since this one is longer than I had intended it to be. Sorry for the down and out post. This is just something that's been on my mind. I'm not really upset or angry about it by any means, I'm just kind of....well.....bored.

Thanks for listening.

Brenna's 3 years old

Happy 3rd Birthday Boo!
We love you so much!
Love, Mommy, Daddy and Trever

Prayer Request

Uncle Nate and Trever at Trever's Baptism

I have been waiting to post this until I had more information. Jason's brother Nate was in a 4-wheeler accident on Friday July 31st**. He went off an 8 foot drop and fractured his L5 vertebra (lower back bone) and his hip. He under went surgery today to fix his back, which took longer than expected. He suffered some permanent nerve damage and is having some issues with his left leg. I don't have all of the details as Jason didn't ask too many questions, but this was the basic information that I got. I'm sure they'll be finding out more tomorrow when he has a little time to recover from the surgery. He is scheduled for a second surgery to repair his hip on Friday. I ask that you keep him and the rest of the family in your thoughts and prayers.

We pray for God's healing hands be laid upon him. Give him strength and patience as this will be a long and grueling recovery for him. We pray for the Doctors and Nurses who are taking care of Nate, that they have steady hands and wisdom to help him make a full recovery. My dear brother-in-law, we wish we could be by your side and hold your hand through this, but we trust that you are in the best hands there is...His hands.

We love you Nate!

**Edited - Date corrected, I originally put June 30th. It was late when I posted....and I was tired.

Ever have a day like this????

UPDATE:
So sorry for the delay in updating on Stellan (we've been a little pre-occupied with Nate). After a few more days in the hospital, Stellan was weaned off of his iv meds and put on a new oral regimen. He has fought his way once again. He is now back home with his new, new, new normal. Thanks for the prayers, this little guy sure is a strong example of Christ's work. I am amazed by him...and by Him. Welcome home sweet boy.



Stellan and the rest of the MckFamily need your prayers more than ever. Stellan is going to be airlifted to the Boston Children's Hospital. What started off as a "3-day hospital stay just try try a new regimen of drugs" turned into any Mother's worse fear. Poor Stellan is not doing well at all.

He's been in SVT for a few days. He started vomiting last night around midnight - can't keep anything down. His body temp is 94.7 and his extremities are cold. He's retaining fluid and is barely urinating. His poor little heart is having to work so hard and it's really taken a tole on him.

Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers.
For more information, please check out MckMama's blog.

I know, I know.....

It's been a really long time...so sorry. Enjoy some pics from a day at the pool to tise you all over for a little while.

Wordless Wednesday

Don't ask....

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Playin at the Park